Sumerians Sick of All These People Culturally Appropriating the Wheel
Saying that these fraudulent copy-cats were testing the limits of their patience, a group of Sumerians from the ancient city of Babylon condemned on the strongest possible terms, the tasteless cultural appropriation that has been taking place in the civilized world regarding the usage of the wheel.
“It’s ridiculous,” said local Babylonian resident Amu-Kkan Parker, adding that aside from ridiculous, it was also, like, totally insane. “My people have been culturally exploited for millennia and nobody seems to be doing anything about it. The other day I saw this idiot raving about how awesome the new Volkswagen winter tires were, and how the Germans are so efficient, and how the Germans are so cool. Pretty easy to put some rubber on the perfect circle we discovered and profit from our brilliance. Assholes.”
At press time, Mr Kkan Parker was seen giving a PowerPoint presentation on how the use of written language, and the adoption of a code of laws, exploits the advances made by the Mesopotamian civilization, and is therefore, inherently racist.