Shy Sophomore Can’t Wait to Go on Spring Break Trip to CVS Pharmacy

Shy Sophomore Can’t Wait to Go on Spring Break Trip to CVS Pharmacy

Visibly shaking with excitement as he marked another day off the calendar, Tandon Sophomore Jay Lopez told reporters he was “super pumped” for his upcoming Spring Break trip to the CVS on the corner of 14th and 4th.

The broke, antisocial engineering major said that, after three months of not leaving his dorm, he was looking forward to visiting the pharmacy and getting some essentials he had been needing for a while.

“This is going to be so awesome,” said the friendless Lopez as he mocked his roommate Dylan’s plans to visit Cancun with his buddies by pointing out that there was no CVS in Cancun. “I honestly cannot wait. They got everything I could possibly want there. You know, they got shampoo, soap, toothpaste, that nice toilet paper that’s cushy but strong at the same time… so many souvenirs. And on top of that, who knows, maybe I’ll manage to get in line behind a cute girl that I like looking at.”

He added that if nothing extraordinary happens in the trip, at least he’ll be able to spend some quality time with the cashier and maybe make a new friend.

Bored Social Justice Activist Just Sitting, Waiting Around Until Next Boycott

Bored Social Justice Activist Just Sitting, Waiting Around Until Next Boycott

Entitled Pre-Med Swamped with Studies in Bobst Rudely Tells Protesters Shouting at Face to Please Try to Be Quiet

Entitled Pre-Med Swamped with Studies in Bobst Rudely Tells Protesters Shouting at Face to Please Try to Be Quiet