Tisch Student Adamant Stick Up Her Ass Is an Artistic Choice
Saying that developing one’s persona is as vital in the film industry as honing one’s craft, second year Tisch student Sarah Malloy was adamant Tuesday that the stick that was stuck really far up her ass was not an accident of personality, but an artistic choice.
The drama major told reporters that, method actor that she is, she stuck that stick up her ass beginning of freshman year when she realized that it would help her play the condescending-asshole-who-rolls-her-eyes-at-anyone-who-doesn’t-get-her-obscure-Ibsen-references part in a better fashion.
“Ugh,” sighed the reason this generation sucks when asked how she was doing in this lovely day. “Honestly, if you can’t even recite the entirety of Andrey’s monologue in Chekov’s Three Sisters, don’t even talk to me like what the fuck.”
Sources report that while at her job as a barista on the Grey Dog of 12th and University, Ms Malloy will sneer at customers on occasion if they ask her for food or coffee while she’s going over her lines.