Heartwarming: NYU Baseball Places Sixth in Little League World Series

Heartwarming: NYU Baseball Places Sixth in Little League World Series

In what is being touted as one of the greatest miracles of sporting history, the NYU Baseball team shattered all forecasts when it gloriously placed sixth in the New York County division of the Little League World Series.

After a long season of hard toil and vicious competition, the Bobcats were able to secure their historic placement after they beat East Manhattan Elementary 3-2 in what was an extraordinary feat of passion and resilience.

“The boys were ready for the challenge,” said NYU coach Benito Juarez when referring to the group of fully grown men in the prime of their youth that he led to a record victory in the children’s championship. “We knew we had to play to our strengths, and cover our weaknesses. It was not easy, but in the end, we were able to capitalize on the fact that we were much taller, faster and stronger than them, and that our pectoral muscles are much more developed, to ultimately make up for the fact that we suck.”

Despite the overbearing praises, critics say that NYU’s win over East Manhattan Elementary was unfair because they only made a comeback from losing 0-2 after NYU 4th batter Andrew Thomas got in a fight with East Manhattan’s star pitcher Billy Hicks and injured him indefinitely.

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Tisch Student Adamant Stick Up Her Ass Is an Artistic Choice

Liberal Student Continues to Have Conversation About Having a Conversation

Liberal Student Continues to Have Conversation About Having a Conversation